Once a liar always a liar

Without trust no relationship can thrive. I felt his lying is a result of deep flaws of his character that he masks by great protestations of loyalty, love, devotion and even acts of courage. But I think over time it just reveals his true nature, and the point of no return has passed.

He lied to me from the beginning our marriage. I never understood for a long time why he continually lied; even about insignificant small stuff that made you wonder and question why he put so much time and energy in the pursuit of this little lie. Pathological lying is just one of the traits of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and yet, I still find it hard to comprehend why he does what he does. I will never understand why it is so important to him that the lie he lives allows others see him as a good person yet, he does not care about the ones he says he loves, and when he batters them; he does not care how they perceive him.

In every lie I caught him in he would always attach “if we cannot discuss this and you do don’t believe me, then you don’t love me” a seemingly crazy making game. Like always he kept up with the pretense of believing his lie which perhaps contained an ounce of truth to add validity, and if that didn’t work he just continued to lie further. What always perplexed me the most is that once he was caught in the lie instead of just telling the truth and yes, I would have been upset in most cases (justly so), he would just act like a martyr and take a righteous stance and hold fiercely to his lie. He just didn’t get that telling the truth would have been the first step in rebuilding trust with me, but I now realize he could have never been truthful; it’s something that is not ingrained into his character.